Strange Tales - musings of a sound monkey

there are certain key career defining moments in the life of any sound engineer: first paid gig; first major tour; first commercial album recording; first embarrassing electrocution; those sorts of things. and then there are the things that just make getting up in the morning a joy - new shows, new clients, favourite clients, fun projects, foley work (personal favourite) etc etc. and then there are those precious moments that just seem to transcend the norm - a track coming together just when you thought it was lost, formerly non-functioning equipment suddenly springing back to life, or hearing a really great voice through your headphones for the first time. one of those voices that the whole of physics seems to have conspired to allow the invention of the diaphragm microphone for.
sometimes, that happens as a surprise. a singer who wants to do some demos and turns out to have an astonishing voice, they’re always nice.
and then sometimes you find yourself travelling the length of the country in the pouring rain, a bag of nerves that you are about to record possibly one of the most iconic voices in British acting.
Brian Blessed’s tv/film career goes all the way back to 1961 when he landed a key role in the must-see series of it’s time, Z-Cars. since then, he has appeared in some of the biggest uk tv dramas of all time, including Caesar in I, Claudius. Brian’s always had a reputation, often the source of much material for stand-ups and impressionists, as only taking roles which require a lot of shouting. By his own admission, he often wonders why he spends so much time climbing avalanche-prone mountains having been born with a voice like his.
meeting Brian is a truly awe-inspiring experience. his house in a beautiful managed woodland is surrounded by a jungle of a garden which you expect dinosaurs to pop their heads out of at any minute. fitting adversaries for this giant of a personality. but the man that greets you is instantly disarming, affable and immediately likeable. a couple of familiar theatrical cuss words and you know where you are straight away. he is genuinely open, welcoming and warm, and his first thought is for tea and where the loos are.
his office/retreat is a wooden shed buried deep at the back of the garden, and I spend a few careful trips trying not to behead the glorious blooms that line the path from the car to the hut. I’m told not to worry, but this is a garden obviously tended daily despite it’s seeming wilderness and i try and be careful anyway. the next obstacle to contend with are the myriad of animals with which he shares his space. mumbling and grumbling dogs adorn every surface and finding floor space to put the mobile recording kit is a challenge. these boys have their spaces well marked out, and no mere sound engineer is going to dethrone them!
Brian disappears off to tend to tea and myself and my friend discuss the surreal nature of where we’ve just arrived.
Brian Blessed was brought up in the same South Yorkshire village in which our humble little theatre now stands. he has had a close association with it both growing up and since and is now Patron. the theatre, like most others, presents a yearly pantomime and ours for the coming year is Jack & The Beanstalk. like many theatres, we’ve struggled over the years to keep audiences engaged with panto, most people now requiring at least one soap star and a couple of failing comedians from the 80s. budgets and principles firmly dictating otherwise, we put on a genuinely family show, lovingly performed by our cast. but Jack needs a giant, and our director, who i am now standing in a rain-battered wooden hut with, came up with the idea that giants didn’t get much bigger than Brian. as patron, he was intrigued by the idea and staggeringly kindly agreed to be the voice of Jack’s nemesis for our little local show.
so I find a little corner to plonk myself in and set up what I hope is the right mic, my beloved Blue BabyBottle. Brian admits he’s been told he’s broken micas before but didn’t realise you could. he was genuinely interested to be shown how, the Bottle being really easy to see the diaphragm on.
we do a couple of test levels. I’m seeing settings on my tfpro P2 i thought were only possible in the flight paths of 747s. everything’s way low but I’m determined as always not to use compression at source. even ted’s smooth as silk optocompression feels like too much with a voice like this, so hoping that digital gain structures work for me, I start with light conversation at -20db peak. and then we go for a test take. red everywhere. that resonance and depth, that Concorde like sonic boom as the signature Blessed voice pounds past the vocal chords and out of the mouth is just staggering. and there’s that moment. that defining moment. i have Brian Blessed - Caesar, Prince Vultan, King Richard, Antonio, Spiro whoever you remember best, in my headphones and filling the room with this astonishing sound.
It’s a joy watching and listening to him at work. As an actor with such long experience, enunciation and timbre changes are effortless. He nails every nuance. He brings expression to lines that just shouldn’t seem to warrant it. He brings humour to the most innocuous word and phrase. He even throws in a few ad-lib sounds and phrases, one of which takes me entirely by surprise. I can’t stop myself when we cut. “That’s Boss Nass!!!” i squeaked. “Very good, that’s it!” replies the giant. “You can’t fool a sci-fi nut Brian” and we all start talking about the film Nikki and I promised ourselves we’d try not to mention. Far from being coy about it, Brian loves talking about Flash Gordon. He’s very proud of it, and has legion tales to tell that I could have listened to all day. The very next take, he suggests we even throw in another ad-lib. and THAT LINE comes out……
“Gordon’s ALIVE?!?!?” he booms, and then, makes an immediate joke of it “I mean…… the Princess is ALIVE!?!?”
it’s a genuinely hilarious moment, and nobody pretends otherwise. Brian has the most infectious laugh and it takes a while to get back to work. i admit that a friend had dared me to get him to say it today, and he admits that he once had an audience with the Queen for some Duke of Edinburgh’s Award scheme for exploration (a subject that is 50% of the conversation), and the Queen admitted that she and the ‘grandkids’ watched Flash Gordon, and would he mind saying the line!!! who knows if it’s true, Brian is a consummate storyteller, but personally, i choose to believe it. it’s a great story and cynicism has little place in today’s events.
the care Brian crafts each line is both effortless and has the precision and detail of a watchmaker. the subtlest of changes to a phrase are obvious after the fact, but there is no way you’d have been able to explain them as a director.
recording finished, tea is once more provided as is food. he is a gracious and warm host. there is no hint that job done we are now unwelcome additions to the house. as weary travellers from the north, our welcome is extended with the warmth of that which welcomes in any of the countless waif and stray animals he and his wife tend for and share their lives with. we chat about film, theatre, acting in general and then his greatest passion, exploration. it is all delivered with vibrancy and enthusiasm, nothing is pedestrian in Blessed’s life one feels.
but the dirge of longer and duller journeys beckons and we leave Brian in his wonderful wood, the very gentlest and loving of giants.